In the spirit of upholding my vow of honesty, truth be told I haven’t done much of anything for Polynate these past few days. The weekend hit, the sun was out, Costa Rica beat Greece by a hair in a dramatic penalty shootout, and I was feeling entitled to take a breather. Well, entitled and guilty.
Whenever you hear about people starting out and doing their own thing, one saying comes to mind: “Never not working”. You hear about the constant grind, the never ending list of things to do, the up-at-all-hours hustle. But you never hear about the downtime, the sluggish lulls between the excitement, the hours or days or weeks spent procrastinating or second-guessing or wondering what to do next. I’m here to tell you all that exists, at least in the beginning phases.
If you are trying to forge your own creative/entrepreneurial path there are no set rules. Hell, there isn’t even a one-size-fits-all formula. It’s not like wanting to be a doctor and having a predetermined structure laid out for you. There is only you and your creativity, drive and work ethic. That’s it.
Some days are better than others. Some days you wake up inspired, ready to take on the world and make shit happen. Other days are less invigorated. And yet other days you just want to relax, recharge, and chill the fuck out.
It could be just me, but even the days I feel entitled to “take off” are tinged with a shade of guilt. I should be doing this, or working on this, or reaching out to this person, etc. When you work 9-5 Monday through Friday, there’s a definitive line between work and play. When you are the sole force behind your own business/art/cause, the lines are less clear. In fact, everything is a little blurrier than is comfortable.
I guess the point is that you still do it. You keep moving ahead, keep trying, keep hoping, keep doing. Some days are victorious, others dismal. If anything, you move forward for fear of standing still too long.