The past two weeks have been spent quietly laboring over a few profiles. After endless hours of toiling, the first is finished and the second is this close. I am by no means an editor by trade or nature, so faced with the task of distilling pages and pages of conversation into a handful of purposeful Q&As took more time and effort than I originally imagined. Add the dilemma of design and what you get is weeks of meddling.
The good news is that things are finally coming together. I have a workable page layout I am happy with and am increasingly able to sort and edit content more efficiently. What at one point felt nearly impossible is now feeling more achievable. Such is the nature of new things.
When I was younger and perhaps more naive things seemed all around easier. There was less second guessing, less doubt, less fear of failure. As I ease on into turning 30, I’ve found myself more a deer in headlights than a lion on a mountaintop. I’m unsure if the paralysis is a product of age, or as Tim put it, “You’re attempting harder things now than you were at 25.” A fair point.
As I enter this next decade of my life I am feeling the pressure of playing for keeps. Logically, I know turning 30 is really no different than any other birthday, but I’ve been unable to shake the idea that whatever I do now will heavily influence the shape of my future. The career I choose, the money I make (or don’t make), the city I live in, the man I love, all these factors that felt relatively arbitrary in youth now carry the profound weight of permanence.
But turning 30 is not a sentence. It’s just another year. I have the same ability to change the course of my life now as I did in my twenties. I guess the point is that beyond feeling like the choices I make now will directly affect my future, I actually want them to. I want to take steps that will lead to the type and quality of life I envision for myself.
Play time is over. It’s time to build!
